The Ex-Factor

When I started this blog in 2005 (followed by a long-ass hiatus, lol), I had it subtitled as Black Girl Found. My first post was about Lauryn Hill, who I believed to be the ultimate Black Girl Lost. At the time, I speculated that Lauryn's problems went beyond heartbreak, but hearing this week that she'd canceled a slew of overseas shows scheduled for this summer, I paused to reconsider. I'm just not ready to give up on this icon.

If you're an artist and you and your bandmate prove to be the visionaries behind a disc that goes on to sell 18 million+ copies, no one should be surprised when you fall for him, no, surrender to him, and vice versa. Because the energy required to create things can be a heady force. Add that to love and romantic attraction, and well...

So does Lauryn's continued inability to handle the glare of the spotlight ultimately come down to the ex-factor? I was decimated when the relationship with the guy I'll call my Super ex-Boyfriend was terminated. When I met him, it was like Jay's "Moment of Clarity," I thought to myself, "Damn, that man's face [is] just like my face." Not literally, but in all the ways that seemed to matter.

There are always the rumors that L.Boogie's broken, clandestine affair with producer-bandmate Wyclef is not only the inspiration for her five-Grammy Award-winning "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" (2008) but also at the root of her undoing.

The end of that reportedly tumultuous relationship opened her up to meet Rohan Marley and, in effect, to gain entry into one of the most illustrious musical dynasties in the Marley clan. But still, more turmoil and no signs of a sophomore album.
Last year, on the 10-year anniversary of her seminal LP, Rohan gave an interview explaining that all was well with L, she was just feeding her maternal appetites.

But I think that what L allowed 'Clef to dismantle in her, might have been finished off by the way in which she gave herself over to Rohan. When creative people come together, it can either ignite a flame or it can unleash a beast that exposes mutual insecurities and demons. I learned in the years since that you have to take what you learn from men like that and let it bear fruit elsewhere. You build yourself back up and make room for someone who wants you whole and lets you come as you are. Until L learns that lesson in love, I doubt we'll hear from her.