Four Women: The Marrying Kind

Someone once said that women should become the men they want to marry.

By now, if you're a black girl like becky, you’ve probably viewed the ABC “Nightline” segment on the sorry dating lives of black women.

Featured were four Atlanta women who had, in effect, become the men they wanted to marry—Benz-driving, high-powered, attractive, home-owning, advanced-degree-holding, upwardly-mobile 20- and early 30-somethings.

These were definitely not the embattled “Four Women” of Nina Simone’s 1966 lament, but rather reflections eternal of her late-career “A Single Woman.” Not only were they all single; some hadn’t seen the inside of a committed relationship in a decade.

These sorts of (self-imposed) dry spells are most problematic because intimate relationships move you forward emotionally, spiritually, physically in ways unmatched by even the strongest platonic bond.


According to the doomsday clip, while these Georgia peaches were off becoming prosecutors and publicists, more than a sprinkling of available black men had hauled off to jail, joined the ranks of the unemployed, or failed to secure a high school diploma. The statistics were dire.

But it wasn’t hard to decipher why these friends, like too many, might not have found better halves.

One woman, a 32-year-old, said she’d long kept a list of 50 requirements for potential suitors tucked into her Bible, which she recently pared down to 10.

Good for her I guess, but a sheet of 50 bullet points represents 50 barriers to entry.

How many dynamic black men had she overlooked in that span? Another, a 34-year-old who stands 5’9,” decided to come down from her sky-scraping height requirement of 6’5” to a supposedly more reasonable 6 feet.

Either she’s had special access to the Atlanta Hawks locker room or she’s asleep.

Water seeks its own level. Become your best self…the rice and rings will follow.