25 May, 2009

Lauren Conrad Exits Stage Left on 'The Hills'


After five seasons as the willing, main character in a real-life Truman Show, The Hills' Lauren Conrad begins a two-part farewell tonight. While Conrad has had it with living her life on-camera, her publicity-loving co-stars will continue on, with Conrad's Laguna Beach nemesis, Kristin Cavalleri, filling the void.

In 2006, Women's Wear Daily reported that the hen-pecked L.C. had been offered a shot at solo fame. On MTV's Laguna Beach, Lauren had been the poor little rich girl from "the Real Orange County," thwarted at every turn by the brassier, blonder California Queen Bee Kristin. L.C. was her high school's prom queen-manquee. A move to Los Angeles and a coveted internship at Teen Vogue would give her a chance at reinvention.

When you think about it, it's pretty fascinating that a 17-year-old girl would choose to live out some of the most tumultuous years in a girl's life on a half-hour block of weekly programming, from LB to The Hills.

My cousin, a Family Guy (Fox) fanatic, put me on to a hilarious recent episode titled "We Love You, Conrad," in which the family's well-bred, intellectual canine, Brian, starts dating L.C. only to dump her when he discovers that she's practically a rocket scientist simply playing an airhead for ratings. Hearing the voice of the real L.C. spout off about molecular biology and historic American military battles was just genius. Of course, that epi was as scripted as her own show. If only L.C. and those O.C. chicks were a band of closet sophisticates!

Lauren traded in her anonymity for serious spoils. How many interns do you know appear on the cover of the publication they're toiling for? Conrad also became a spokesmodel for AVON's youthful Mark collection, launched a subpar clothing line that sold at exclusive boutiques, and recently signed a book deal.

Lauren and her clan were fast becoming household names, yet onscreen, MTV producers gave no hint of the paparazzo-magnets their stars had become. A bold experiment in 'reality' TV would have followed her rising celebrity and the ensuing debacles instead of the Heidi-and-Spencer nonsense that wore thin over several seasons.

On TV, Lauren worked as a glorified intern at Teen Vogue's West Coast offices, giving us a peek into the fashion closet and letting us tag along to a couple of high-profile balls in L.A. and Paris but not much else. Friends came and went - and boys were often the culprit: Remember Jen 'Bunny'?

Enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising, L.C. displayed no particular gifts or skills in fashion or any other field. And those morning-after post-mortems when Lauren in the company of Whitney or Audrina or Lo re-capped the previous night's action were often excruciating to watch: no witty banter or insight, but lots of Chanel and Marc Jacobs.

I think the real action now will be off-camera, as Conrad - and her collection of headbands - exits stage left, to rediscover life without a voiceover. I tuned in initially for the same reason I tuned into The WB's Felicity in the early-00s. I'm just a sucker for a storyline that affords its heroine a second act.

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